For What It's Worth.

During the homily this last Sunday, our deacon related how he was asked to leave his home parish and become part of the Upper Sandusky parish. I may not be quoting him exactly, but he made the comment that he told the powers- that- be that he would not be interested in the position if he would merely be used to serve coffee and doughnuts to the pastor! We all got a chuckle out of it and he went on with his homily. It wasn't until Monday afternoon, on my walk, that I smiled and said, "Yes, that's it!"


I really wasn't interested in 'moving' to Transfiguration of the Lord Parish if it meant that my gifts would not be used to their fullest. I wasn't alone. Many parishioners were resistant to the claim of 'All for one and one for All." because it really seemed more like, "We will tell you who you are and what your talents are, and we may summon you as we see fit." I am not spouting a holier than thou attitude, I am just describing how I and many felt. I understand that the staff was trying to feel their way through a new experience. I also understand that people naturally migrated on to other venues to use their gifts. It was just nice to hear the deacon laugh about not wanted to sandbag his talents. It was nice to think that he might understand that certain parishioners are not unwilling to help out, victims of a quick profiling study, they may still feel displaced and inadequate. Offer them tasks that inspire, and watch the floodgates of participation open!

As I first knelt down in the pew on Ash Wednesday this past Lent, I heard myself say, "My parish is closed." Startled, I quickly looked around to see if I said the statement out loud! no, that deafening statement was for my senses alone. I felt no anger at the time, but strangely calm. No venom, no resentment, just acceptance that I was kneeling in St. Peter's church with St. Peter's parishioners at a service that used to be held at St. Mary's. I remembered that the head of the area deanery had once told me that the consolidations never worked where one church was able to be the centerpiece church. A statement about this consolidation? Does it really matter now ? No, not really. That sharpened ax I used to grind is just as capable of slitting my wrists as it possibly could be used to decapitate others! I almost did not write this article because I really am aware that many, including myself, are tired of the topic.

I read the book "Who Moved My Cheese" in the midst of the consolidation and hope to refer to it during my own personal reconstruction phase. I hope that any references in this blog as to what happened in the past will be accepted as facts that will influence my upcoming journey. And if what I espouse is interpreted by others as bitterness and an inability to 'let it go', I accept that to.

Am I (to use that buzzword that made my skin crawl) "Healed"? Well, I strangely think that, yes, I am. I think that the outward bleeding has been stemmed, and I no longer desire to put myself in front of that proverbial buzzsaw of public opinion. I may go underground, so to speak, to follow the Spirit's path to internal healing.

Am I going to leave Transfiguration since my parish is closed? Nope !! I have lots to do in the next couple of years, and am pretty excited about the direction I may be heading! After all, I am slated to help serve Coffee and Doughnuts on the first Sunday in May!!

Things Hidden

What is this awesome mystery
that is taking place within me?
I can find no words to express it;
my poor hand is unable to capture it
in describing the praise and glory that belong
to the One who is above all praise,
and who transcends every word...
My intellect sees what has happened,
but cannot explain it.
It can see, and wishes to explain,
but can find no word that will suffice;
for what it sees is invisible and entirely formless,
simple, completely uncompounded,
unbounded in its awesome greatness.
What I have seen is the totality recapitulated as one,
received not in essence but by participation.
Just as if you lit a flame from a flame,
it is the whole flame you receive."

---St. Symeon the New Theologian (949-1022)



I was going to title this entry, "Go To Your Room!" I recently was privileged to have a rather 'spirited' discussion with a couple of friends about faith. My parlor is filled with books, DVDs, tapes, rosaries, and a comfortable sofa, chair and rocking chair. The only thing that is missing for enhanced spirituality is me. I have my theories why I avoid that room, but those reasons seemed pretty hollow when they floated towards the ears of my friends. So, I entered that room this morning, picked up a book and started to read. Ironically the book is titled "Things Hidden" by Fr. Richard Rohr. The words from St. Symeon were appropriate for my first entry from the book. Realizing that insight is best received "not in essence, but participation", I will try to relay bits and pieces from what I discover in the book. To hold myself to the completion of Rohr's book , an identical copy (long ignored by me) is now in the hands of one of those spirited friends.
I am hoping that he reads the book with me and will encourage me to keep looking for those things that seem to be hidden.