A State of Denial

Ah..the Sabbath!

I made it to church on time, found the homily interesting, the music soothing, and the sincere smiles of the congregation endearing. My husband had to work, so I was to have a rather quiet Sunday morning by myself. A breakfast of eggs, toast, juice and a rare cup of caffienated coffee, coupled with the bulletin and yesterday's paper,!seemed quite inviting.

I dutifully poured in the cold water and unloaded three heaping scoops of aromatic Caffe' Verona into the coffemaker but the little red light on the coffee maker would not respond! Pushing that ON button for over a minute with the precision of an EMT giving chest compressions, I had to finally give in to the thought that my coffeemaker was dead. I stared in disbelief at the coffeemaker for a minute or so. How could I be denied such a small pleasure?! On Sunday! I finally went upstairs and unearthed a coffemaker that I had picked up years ago at a silent auction. I should have been elated that I still had a chance at having my coffee. Instead, I sullenly realized that my picturesque breakfast would have to wait until I actually read the directions, ran the new coffeemaker through two cycles, and transfered the water and the coffee from the old maker to the new.


As I patiently (?) waited to start the real coffee cycle, I wondered why I felt that I HAD to wait until the coffee was made before I made my breakfast. I really do not really drink much coffee. One reason for semi- abstaining is the fact that I understand that caffeine intake should be limited for most people for general health reasons. The second fact is that no one who knows me has ever offered my caffeinated coffee if they intended to stay in the same room with me for over five minutes! So for obvious reasons, I often have coffee alone or with one person. Now was the time for my coffee!

My needed coffee fix has something to do with the fact that I am coming to the stage in life where I am looking for chances to slow down. I don't drink coffee before work, or when I have responsibilities to fulfill (Although there were the several cups downed to get me through one verrrry active Confirmation retreat!). I guess I now associate coffee with having the time to sit and talk. Having a coffee allows me to signal society that I have stepped off to the side of the treadmill and am taking a couple of minutes to gather myself.

My niece teased me a couple of weeks ago because she saw a styrofoam coffee cup posed behind my makeshift altar in the parlor( she thought I had absentmindedly forgot to throw it out.). Peeking out behind a statue of an open-armed Jesus and other small pictures and artifacts, the cup stands there ever so stately as a reminder for me to slow down. Did I take time to pray today? Did I take time to let someone finish saying what they had on their mind? Did I slow down, take a sip and think of the small things that often get lost in the rat race. Can I allow myself the pleasure of a quiet boost?

No, I wasn't about to be denied coffee this morning. I needed to take a minute to replace what was worn out. A minute to read a new set of directions. A minute to welcome something new in my life. God would never deny me a minute, why should I?

Happy Sabbath! Do you have a cup of coffee waiting for you?!

Unleavened bread

Father's homily this morning was about service. He related how in Confirmation, ninth graders were expected to perform various service projects. A woman in a previous parish lamented how she failed to see how her daughter would be expected to do tasks for strangers when she never offered to do laundry, wash dishes or sweep floors at home. Father thought that maybe many kids needed to see adults in their parished performing service projects themselves. Although he wasn't delivering a scathing comment directed squarely at our parish, I thought about what he said. Are we really that apathetic? I could rattle off a list of so many people whom I've seen lend a hand to those in need, and a prayer as well! Yet, I had to wonder what would whet our appetites to serve in a more open manner that might subsequently inspire our youth to do the same?

There have been many references in the Bible about the great banquet. I remember once wondering how a speaker scheduled to speak on the radio was going to find enough material to speak for a half an hour for two weeks on the Great Banquet. I was then very impressed with the variety of references he made to our daily lives during that presentation. The speaker emphasized that a Great Banquet needs a host, food and guests.

I always thought that before the consolidation of our parishes a couple of years ago, each parish had offered great meals. Good basic nutrition with some really great snacks thrown in! Our potential participation level might be affected by the fallout from the hasty consoldiation of Transfiguration Parish. Could it be that we are serving a meal that might seem to many to be tasteless and unsatisfying? Noone wants to be a host? Noone wants to prepare food? Noone wants to be a guest? Do we have spiritual hunger in our parish that is going unsatisfied?

I looked at our bulletin a couple of years ago and thought that the menu looked great. But I also thought about how many were not attending. Were people who had once hosted banquets not qualitfied to serve anymore? Were the food (programs,events) that was once fed to many no longer deemed nutritional enough? Maybe many people no longer wanted to be a guest where they felt they were not wanted. I am not viciously condemming those who were on staff at the time. They were good people. Unfortunately they tried to throw a banquet on their own without being familiar with the local cuisine. Would you want to serve Chinese food in an Italian restaurent? Especially in an Italian neighborhood? People weren't afraid of change during the Consolidation, as much as they were denied opportunity. Transfiguration could not use the yeast of many small community bakeries. I never thought that many of those parishioners stopped serving, they merely stopped serving the institution and instead looked to serve individuals or small groups. The new restaurant that the Diocese wanted, could not serve as well as the Mom and Pop diners that had previously existed. Why should anyone be surprised that many left the table? Processed food is no real substitue for homecooking.

I did smile when Father looked up at the end of his homily about limited participation in parish service, shrugged, and said, "I may be wrong." I admired the fact that he seemed willing to take a good look at the menu. All great cooks used basic ingredients and then experiment. We should have been creating a menu that would truly feed the people of our parish. We could have satisfied the palates of so many. It is never to late to adjust. There are a lot of great cooks in the parish. I really don't think that they care where they prepare the meal or whom they cook for. I feel that people will serve others with gusto if they are encouraged to add their yeast to Transfiguration in a way which will nourish. Others can sample the meal as it is being prepared. When people taste something good, they recognize it and will want more! There are so many different ways to prepare and organize a banquet. Let's prepare for a true feast and not simpy curse a perceived famine.

We have a Master Chef and 'The Ultimate Cookbook! The willingness to reopen all of the local eateries and to develop an appreciation for different culinary tastes, will prepare the greatest of banquets at which we all may serve and be served.

Bon appetite !!!