Last thoughts from "Falling Upward"

My copy of 'Falling Upward' by Richard Rohr is making the rounds among 'folks I know'. Before I let it go, I jotted down excerpts from the last few chapters to keep me company on my journey:

"A. If you are on course at all, your world should grow much larger in the second half of life. But I must tell you that, in yet another paradox, your circle of real confidants and truly close friends will normally grow smaller, but also more intimate. You are no longer surprised or angered when most people- and even most institutions are doing first half tasks.

"In fact, that is what most groups and institutions, and young people are programmed to do! Don't hate them for it. Institutions have to."

"So our question becomes, "How can I honor the legitimate needs of the first half while creating space, vision,time and grace for the second? The holdings of this tension is the very shape of wisdom."

B. " What Jesus meant by "carrying the cross". "So many people I know who are doing truly helpful and healing ministry find their primary support from a couple of enlightened friends-

"**So we have to prepare and equip the two or three 2nd half of lifers in how to stay in there with the (misled?) 1st half of lifers."

"You lose interest in idealizing or idolizing persons or events, especially yourself. You no longer 'give away your inner gold' to others. You keep yours, and you let them keep theirs. (You don't stop loving them, you actually start!) the game is over and you are free!"

C. "In your second half of life, you can actually bless others in what they feel they must do, challenge them if they are hurting themselves or others--but you can no longer join them in the 1st half of Life.

"You can belong to such institutions for the good they do, but you can no longer put your eggs in that one basket. This will keep you and others from unnecessary frustration and anger, and from knocking on doors that cannot be opened from the other side."

There is a certain real loneliness if you say yes, and all your old friends are saying no."

"So be prepared when your old groups, friendships and even churches no longer fully speak to you the way they used to."

As I read 'Falling Upward' I marked through many pages, then stopped because most of the book would have been a sea of yellow highlight. I encouraged the person I passed it on to, to mark it however they liked. If and when I get it back, I won't be annoyed by the marking of others, I will be interested in what leapt out at them. Most of you who read this blog on occasion have my email address. Let me know if you want the book passed on to you and I will try and track it down.

Three Ring Circus

This morning's mass was for the Most Holy Trinity. As I listened to the Deacon's homily, I happened to glance down at my hands and gaze at three simple rings. I have never been overly interested in jewelry unless they express some significance in my life. The three rings that I wore today radiated a special symmetry of love, commitment and joy.

"To Have and to Hold": I actually have two wedding rings that I rotate on my left ring finger: a simple band that matches my husband's ring and a tiny band with four diamonds that is soldered to my engagement ring. I wear the band most of the time, as the majority of my labor is physical, and wear the diamonds when I am wearing "good clothes". Those rings symbolize the love and security that come from almost 29 years of marriage, three children, and quite the extensive family on both sides.

"Master": The most recent addition to my jewelry given to me by friends last fall for my 50th birthday. A ring with a subtle Christ on the Cross envelopes my finger, sometimes with the Lord spanning the top of my finger for all to see, and sometimes barely visible as it slips underneath throughout the wear and tear of the day. As soon as I placed it on my finger last fall, I lost any concern that I would damage it or lose it. This was a ring that was made for as much wear and tear as my wedding band. Ironically for me, I never gave a second thought about how others would perceive it. It immediately received the same status as my wedding ring. I was the Lord's as well, to have and to hold, from this day forward. (Except, at death, we will not part!)

"Flavor of the Month" The rings that periodically grace my right hand rotate on the basis of the occasion. Most of them are presents received for birthdays, anniversaries etc. Today I selected the ring I received for my participation on a championship team in college. I thought about how there are less than 20 of those rings out there somewhere, and of the very special memories I share with just a few teammates and coaches around the country who also sport those rings.

Why would I associate those important rings with a circus? Remembering being a little frustrated as a child as I tried to watch the activity going on in three rings at a circus probably has something to do with it. To successfully integrate my family, my faith and my talents presents many, many daily challenges. Successful integration depends on my awareness and willingness to give each its due. To try and take care of my family's needs without tending to my soul often meets with frustration and a type of restlessness. Overly focusing on church matters often leads to alienating family members who do not share my zeal. I have found that I am most at peace when I use my talents to serve my family and my faith community equally. There lies the importance of the Trinity in my life. The Father , Son and Holy Spirit all rest in me and eagerly await my hands to extend their power to the world. None of the rings are flashy, so as to demand attention, but yet, quietly rest on my fingers knowing that they rest there because of the love and commitment they represent.

I walked out from church this morning, thinking of the rings where so many constantly perform under the Big Top of our church. Finances, Liturgy, Sacraments....all important in their own rites, but it is their synergy I worry about. Will the leaders construct their performances in such a way that that will enrich reach their audience? An audience that really isn't there to be entertained as much as to witness something that will influence their lives. Can they be inspired to go out and develop their own gifts and talents?

I surrender.