Catch phrases (Falling Upward)

"Discharging your loyal soldier" was a catch phrase that the Japanese used to try and ease their WWII soldiers back into society. "the community needs you to return as a man, a citizen, and something beyond a soldier." "This kind of closure is much needed for most of us at the end of all major transitions in life. Because we have lost any sense of the need for such rites of passage, most people have no clear crossover to the second half of their own lives."

"The voice of our loyal soldier gets us through the first half of life safely."

"Paradoxically, your loyal soldier gives you so much security and validation that you may confuse his voice with the very voice of God. If this inner and critical voice has kept you safe for many years as your inner voice of authority you may end up not being able to hear the real voice of God."

"the loyal soldier is the voice of all your early authority figures. His or her ability to offer shame, guilt, warnings, boundaries and self-doubt is the gift that never stops giving. Remember, it can be a feminine voice too; but it is not the 'still, small voice of God (1Kings 19:13) that gives us our power instead of always taking our power."


Whew............gotta stop for a while.........I highlighted these phrases last night and thought about them on my walk today. I forgave some people today because of these phrases of insight. Maybe those people I keep blaming for keeping me from my ministry, simply are guilty of expecting me to listen to their 'voices of boundaries? I fight their coercion because I am in the stage of life that, requires me to listen to the voice of God instead? I think....I can appreciate their concern, because it probably is genuine.

Fall Up/ Regressive

I thought I should probably state up front that this blog is evolving. A couple of parishioners intended to find a way to communicate during the closings, and a more techy person than I suggested blogging. During ( what I feel is) this transition phase, I will be chatting about what I am encountering on my journey and relating it to a couple of parishioners who are on their own expeditions.


On with Rohr.......


"In the Roman Catholic Church, we are now involved in an enormous example of what some would call "the regressive restoration of persona," a desire to return to the 'good old days' when we were supposedly on top, secure, sure of ourselves, and marching together." The problem he goes on to say is "When some have not been able to do the task of the first half of life well, they go back and try to do it again--and then often overdo it."

"A recent study pointed out that a strong majority of young men entering seminaries in the last ten to twenty years came from single parent homes, a high percentage having what we would call "father wounds'.

"All has been in flux since about 1968. Then add to all of that fifteen years of nonstop public scandal over the issues of pedophilia and cover-up by the hierarchy. Such bishops, priests and seminarians often had no chance to do the task of the first half of life well. It was a movable famine to grow up in, so they backtracked to do what they should have been able to do first---second! They are out of sequence through no fault of their own. They want a tribe that is both superior and secure---and theirs!"


'Oh, Karen, priest bashing?' AGAIN??!! Heavens no, my fingertips nearly trembled as I typed away on this section, I heard a couple of parishioners in my head lamenting, "Not all priests are like that." I know that. I have great respect for people who give their lives for ministry. A couple of priests meant the world to me. But , out of respect for them, I will never not probe the words and concepts offered by others for a glimpse of insight. Without the benefit of insight,from a variety of sources, I would be sitting in a corner not ministering at all. Why the corner? Blind adherence to "Father knows best" by people with the power to make decisions would have left me there...sitting with unopened gifts to share.


I am intrigued with "Falling Upward' because it deals with an issue that is rapidly becoming front and center with me: "How do I take what I have learned in the first half of my life, and glean from it what is necessary to complete the second half of my life? What I find in the pages of this book of Rohr's will not replace the Bible, but it may give me a little more clarity in the area of ministry. Rohr stated at the end of this chapter that the church should not become a "compulsive substitute for actual divine encounter or honest relationship. So, let's look at a way through all of this, because spiritually speaking, there are no 'dead ends.' God will use this too--somehow--and draw all of us toward the Great Life. But there is a way to move ahead more naturally, if we can recognize a common disguise and dead end."

Falling Upward

I am reading the newest book of Father Richard Rohr titled, "Falling Upward, A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life". I am not able to speed through this one( which as most of you Rohr Readers know is par for the course with his books) because of it resonates with wisdom for my life at age 50.


"The first part of life, success, security, and containment---'looking good' to ourselves and others--are almost the only questions. Religions, similarily need to make truth claims that are absolutely absolute--and we want them for just that--because they are absolute! We all want and need various certitudes, constants, and insurance policies at every stage of life.

"But we have to be careful, or they totally take over and become all controlling needs, keeping us from further growth."

Rohr goes on to say that most of the church sermons he has heard in his life never move beyond the first level of development, 'and do not challenge it. In fact to challenge it is called heretical, dangerous , or ill-advised."

"The very unfortunate result of this preoccupation with order, control, saftey, pleasure, and certitude is that a high percentage of people never get to the contents of their own lives. There is to much defensive behavior and therefore too much offensive behavior in the first half of life to get to the really substanial questions, which are what drive you forward on the further journey."

And the part that I am really thinking about now on April 26,( one month after my cardinal first started to Bonk !) as to my relationship with the institutional church:

"Human maturity is neither offensive nor defensive; it is finally able to accept that reality is what it is." Ken Keyes said, "More suffering comes into the world by people taking offense than by people intending to give offense." "The offended ones feel the need to offend back those who they think have offended them, creating defensiveness on the part of the presumed offenders, which often becomes a new offensive--ad finitum. There seems to be no way out of this self defeating and violent Ping-Pong game--except growing up spiritually. The True Self, you see, is very hard to offend."

Cardinal Sins

Saturday March 26, I came home early from work and rushed around to prepare for my overnight Confirmation retreat. My niece who was visiting from Pittsburgh said, "Do you know that you have this crazy bird knocking himself out on your window? He started it yesterday!" I remember vaguely glancing at the big kitchen window and saying with a shrug, "He thinks his reflection is another bird, he'll stop it."

Throughout the weekend there was a steady stream of 'bonks' from the 'bird versus glass' show at my window. My sister said, before she and my niece left to go back to Pittsburgh, "I saw the female yesterday, she must be nesting close to the window. He is just protecting the nest." I thus dismissed the noise and acknowledged his presence with an occasional "Stupid bird, you are only hurting yourself."

Five days later, I looked on the Audbon Society website and found that cardinals, woodpeckers and a few other birds will try to fight off the reflection of what they think are other males during the nesting phase. The article offered suggestions as how to stop the window attacks by placing white paper on the outside of the window or placing balloons and old CD's to wave in the breeze. When my husband pointed out that the cardinal was also attacking the second floor windows all around the house, I dismissed any thought of trying to stop that irritating bird by stringing any objects around the house. Besides, the internet article said that the birds would stop in about a week and a half.

Tuesday, April 19th. At this writing, 'that bird' is still throwing himself at the window. We have commented all this time that he has brain damage and will only stop when he experiences that final blow! It has been interesting how his presence has affected visitors. People have offered solutions from to moving the nest to puttin a bb through his brain! I have declined any intervention techniques. (I thought my daughter who was visiting this weekend was going to go through the window after him!) This morning my husband commented that the cardinal would leave when the eggs hatch.

I can list a few cardinals who have been protecting the nest, so to speak, for a few years now. There are still some parishioners who continue to throw themselves at the glass ceiling of our Diocese. The actions of these protective cardinals does not constitute disrespect or sin, but an attempt to protect the parish from being dismantled.

As weary as I am of watching that cardinal being mocked by all the 'civilized' inhabitants of my household for acting naturally, I am also as weary of myself and others being mocked by civilized members of the instituition for espousing the same old "us vs. them " rhetoric. Well, maybe they are right. There is no 'us vs. them'. We have been banging our heads against a mere reflection of ourselves. Control has been the issue hasn't it? We want to be included in the decision making process, and we want to exercise control as much as the church officials. We have been so frustrated in trying to 'save the church', that we have forgotten that the buildings are that of the Diocese, and they can do whatever they want with them. They can cover the windows and literally make us go away. And we will. But we must remember to turn toward the nest and take care of our young. For noone can ever do that job better than we can.

Everyday now that I walk in the house after work, I wait to hear that "BONK!" and I smile. There is still something out there in those bushes worth protecting ! !