Time To Close My I's

I had planned a "stay-cation" this summer and of course had to assure those close to me  that I would enjoy that week off from work as much as if I had intended to spend time at a resort! There was a daunting list of chores around the house that had been long put on the back burner and I needed a dedicated  crusade to free my subconscious from their weight! And so it began............

Glancing at my chore list Sunday evening, I thought that it would be nice to add "attend daily mass". Now, in no way was mass attendance synonymous with  any household chore!  But I did feel a little sacrilegious as I included worship amid tedious tasks such as cleaning out the freezers, re potting plants and hanging pictures.
How well did my week go? I enjoyed the week immensely! I completed many tasks last week that had long been ignored. I socialized with friends and family. I even made a new list of tasks that I actually looked forward to completing. Driving to mass on Saturday evening, I thought  how I would evaluate my daily mass attendance for the week.  I did enjoy  attending mass every day, but was there anything I could 'cross off my list' so to speak because of the experience? As I started to ponder, I immediately thought, "It's time to close your eyes." Only, the eyes quickly changed to "I's"

How long had I viewed the Church as a means to an end? For many years had I marveled at how my spirituality had been enriched by listening to tapes, reading books, attending classes, and teaching religious education classes. I was learning. I was growing. I was teaching. I held many positions on various committees. I felt as if I belonged in church and was quite comfortable there. I made the attempt to be in church, and the walls, in turn, enveloped me. What more could one ask for? 

Father Richard Rohr once described a tribesman praying, "And please do not let them put doors on our huts." He was told that this prayer meant that when 'civilization' came to the area, and doors were placed in a village  hut, 'ours' was replaced with 'mine'.  Surrounding myself in the church throughout the years to ensure my spiritual growth may have constructed a few doors. Had I stayed to long within the safe confines of the institution and neglected others in my community? Yes,  I had taught religious education classes and facilitated adult gatherings, but had I become complacent in my faith and stopped searching for spiritual insight?

"It's time to close your eyes. (I's)." might refer to closing my eyes to the familiarity of the Church and what I have experienced thus far, and relying on the Holy Spirit to guide my future. The doors of the institution may delay my exit at first, because I have not ventured out on my own for a long, long, time. There might be those that tell me that I should not leave the safe confines of familiarity.  I understand.  But evangelism sometimes requires that we go where others have not  yet gone.

So for the next couple of months I will try to close my "I's". To eliminate "I want. I think. I believe."  and replace the pronoun "I" with a noun that represents others outside my traditional church walls. "My neighbors need.  My family thinks. This reading says."     Maybe there will be doors that will open and  'mine' will be replaced many times over with 'ours'?