A State of Denial

Ah..the Sabbath!

I made it to church on time, found the homily interesting, the music soothing, and the sincere smiles of the congregation endearing. My husband had to work, so I was to have a rather quiet Sunday morning by myself. A breakfast of eggs, toast, juice and a rare cup of caffienated coffee, coupled with the bulletin and yesterday's paper,!seemed quite inviting.

I dutifully poured in the cold water and unloaded three heaping scoops of aromatic Caffe' Verona into the coffemaker but the little red light on the coffee maker would not respond! Pushing that ON button for over a minute with the precision of an EMT giving chest compressions, I had to finally give in to the thought that my coffeemaker was dead. I stared in disbelief at the coffeemaker for a minute or so. How could I be denied such a small pleasure?! On Sunday! I finally went upstairs and unearthed a coffemaker that I had picked up years ago at a silent auction. I should have been elated that I still had a chance at having my coffee. Instead, I sullenly realized that my picturesque breakfast would have to wait until I actually read the directions, ran the new coffeemaker through two cycles, and transfered the water and the coffee from the old maker to the new.


As I patiently (?) waited to start the real coffee cycle, I wondered why I felt that I HAD to wait until the coffee was made before I made my breakfast. I really do not really drink much coffee. One reason for semi- abstaining is the fact that I understand that caffeine intake should be limited for most people for general health reasons. The second fact is that no one who knows me has ever offered my caffeinated coffee if they intended to stay in the same room with me for over five minutes! So for obvious reasons, I often have coffee alone or with one person. Now was the time for my coffee!

My needed coffee fix has something to do with the fact that I am coming to the stage in life where I am looking for chances to slow down. I don't drink coffee before work, or when I have responsibilities to fulfill (Although there were the several cups downed to get me through one verrrry active Confirmation retreat!). I guess I now associate coffee with having the time to sit and talk. Having a coffee allows me to signal society that I have stepped off to the side of the treadmill and am taking a couple of minutes to gather myself.

My niece teased me a couple of weeks ago because she saw a styrofoam coffee cup posed behind my makeshift altar in the parlor( she thought I had absentmindedly forgot to throw it out.). Peeking out behind a statue of an open-armed Jesus and other small pictures and artifacts, the cup stands there ever so stately as a reminder for me to slow down. Did I take time to pray today? Did I take time to let someone finish saying what they had on their mind? Did I slow down, take a sip and think of the small things that often get lost in the rat race. Can I allow myself the pleasure of a quiet boost?

No, I wasn't about to be denied coffee this morning. I needed to take a minute to replace what was worn out. A minute to read a new set of directions. A minute to welcome something new in my life. God would never deny me a minute, why should I?

Happy Sabbath! Do you have a cup of coffee waiting for you?!