For What It's Worth.

During the homily this last Sunday, our deacon related how he was asked to leave his home parish and become part of the Upper Sandusky parish. I may not be quoting him exactly, but he made the comment that he told the powers- that- be that he would not be interested in the position if he would merely be used to serve coffee and doughnuts to the pastor! We all got a chuckle out of it and he went on with his homily. It wasn't until Monday afternoon, on my walk, that I smiled and said, "Yes, that's it!"


I really wasn't interested in 'moving' to Transfiguration of the Lord Parish if it meant that my gifts would not be used to their fullest. I wasn't alone. Many parishioners were resistant to the claim of 'All for one and one for All." because it really seemed more like, "We will tell you who you are and what your talents are, and we may summon you as we see fit." I am not spouting a holier than thou attitude, I am just describing how I and many felt. I understand that the staff was trying to feel their way through a new experience. I also understand that people naturally migrated on to other venues to use their gifts. It was just nice to hear the deacon laugh about not wanted to sandbag his talents. It was nice to think that he might understand that certain parishioners are not unwilling to help out, victims of a quick profiling study, they may still feel displaced and inadequate. Offer them tasks that inspire, and watch the floodgates of participation open!

As I first knelt down in the pew on Ash Wednesday this past Lent, I heard myself say, "My parish is closed." Startled, I quickly looked around to see if I said the statement out loud! no, that deafening statement was for my senses alone. I felt no anger at the time, but strangely calm. No venom, no resentment, just acceptance that I was kneeling in St. Peter's church with St. Peter's parishioners at a service that used to be held at St. Mary's. I remembered that the head of the area deanery had once told me that the consolidations never worked where one church was able to be the centerpiece church. A statement about this consolidation? Does it really matter now ? No, not really. That sharpened ax I used to grind is just as capable of slitting my wrists as it possibly could be used to decapitate others! I almost did not write this article because I really am aware that many, including myself, are tired of the topic.

I read the book "Who Moved My Cheese" in the midst of the consolidation and hope to refer to it during my own personal reconstruction phase. I hope that any references in this blog as to what happened in the past will be accepted as facts that will influence my upcoming journey. And if what I espouse is interpreted by others as bitterness and an inability to 'let it go', I accept that to.

Am I (to use that buzzword that made my skin crawl) "Healed"? Well, I strangely think that, yes, I am. I think that the outward bleeding has been stemmed, and I no longer desire to put myself in front of that proverbial buzzsaw of public opinion. I may go underground, so to speak, to follow the Spirit's path to internal healing.

Am I going to leave Transfiguration since my parish is closed? Nope !! I have lots to do in the next couple of years, and am pretty excited about the direction I may be heading! After all, I am slated to help serve Coffee and Doughnuts on the first Sunday in May!!