Open Door Policy
An excerpt from a Time magazine article "There's More Than One Way to Relieve Stress":
"This is probably the toughest lesson to internalize because when stess overwhelms the system, your choices often seem more limited than they are. Behavioral scientists have a name for this psychological reaction. They call it 'learned helplessness', and they have studied the phenomenon closely in laboratory rodents, whose nervous systems bear striking similarity to that of humans.
If you provide mice with an escape route, they typically learn very quickly how to avoid a mild electrical shock that occurs a few seconds after they hear a tone. But if the escape route is blocked whenever the tone is sounded, and new shocks occur, the mice will eventually stop trying to run away. Later, even after the escape route is cleared, the animals simply freeze at the sound of the tone--despite the fact that they once knew how to avoid the associated shock.
"Learned helplessness" is an interesting concept. Have the 'rules changed' in our parishes? Do some people feel as if doors are closed to them? Do they no longer see any open doors because they have absorbed to many shocks?
The first obvious major shocks would have been the clustering of the parishes, then the recommended closings, and then the actual closing of our local three parishes. I think that everyone kept looking for the open door during these times that would have saved the effectiveness of the communities. Many watched that open door close as staff made it clear that everything would be consolidated and made "one". Anyone who kept looking for that open door, was chastized for being "afraid of change", and not being able to "let go of the past". Mr. Wasserman, in his talk with Dan in Toledo, said that there was no reason that each community could not continue their programs in their original location. That was why the Bishop left St.Mary's as a Chapel, to serve those in a huge zone without a Catholic church. It would be conterproductive to move everything to Upper.
But, attempts at reasoning fell on deaf ears and many parishioners "gave up" so to speak. Perhaps they felt as if they had no escape routes? Has a type of 'learned helplessness' become the norm?
In talking with other members of the parish, I thought it might be helpful to get some of these 'shocks' out in the open. What were the things that happened that made people 'give up" and physically leave the church? What happened that made people leave organizations and ministries that used to excite them?
Let's make a list of those shocks? What happened that hurt? Maybe making a list of 'shocks' will help many find the open door?
posted by Karen @ 4:46 PM
8 comments
8 Comments:
This is identical to the frustrations that finally drove Martin Luther to post his objections on the church door and St. Francis to refuse to be ordained. He knew once he said 'yes', he was under the oppressive thumb of the Vatican.
My frustrations: Four unanswered letters to the Bishop, the unnecessary name change, buying the house across the street from the Upper church without getting input from all the talent within the parish, and on and on it goes. Too many deaf ears !!!
The truth would be nice. Why is it so hard to get the truth, and why are they so afraid of it.I just read a 4 page artical about Bishop Gumbleton being banned from speaking on church property. Why you might ask? Could it be because he speaks the truth? This is a man that was abused by a priest as a child,and was not able to talk about it for 30 years. When all the scandal broke about the church covering up the abuse, he felt called to try to help those that had been and are still being abused. He understood the hurt and how hard it is to get through. But did the church ask him for his advice on how to handle this? NO The church chose to bar him from speaking on church property.It seems to be more important to the hierarchy to cover their ugly secrets then to tell the truth.Even Mother Angelica who has been having health problems is trying to turn her ministry over to a board of directors to make sure the church doesn't try to take over and take the money away. There are reasons that many of the spiritual leaders are afraid of being controlled by the hierarchy.If these people struggle, it should not surprise us that we too will struggle.It is too bad that they continue to lie and are afraid to be truthful with us. We have to pray and pray and then learn to listen to God. God does not lie to us. God wants us to follow him, not those that are trying to protect there reputation!!!!!! God Bless!!!!!!!!!
While not directly related to this post, I feel a need to make a comment, and didn't want to bury it with old posts.
In reading the Pastoral Council article in the recent "Transpirings", I was intrigued to find an almost direct quote of a comment that I had made to the "Vision is Important" blog entry of November 2006, if one would like to reread the entire post and my comment.
Obviously the column writer had read it, as the comment was quoted and denied in the article.
The portion quoted was from this statement in the comment:
"Experience suggests to me that "Charting our Future" is the beginning of a capital funding campaign that is currently disguised as program development."
The key words in my comment were "experience suggests".
Here is the experience to which I refer:
Due to relocations, I have been a member of several parishes and involved in various programs of each. In one parish, as a chairperson of a parish program, I was invited to a meeting with the pastor and staff, along with all the other heads of various parish ministries and organizations. This was the first of several meetings to train us to meet with other parishioners to prioritize needed improvements to the parish facilities and programs.
In addition, we were to use those session to identify the other leaders of the parish and principal donors.
At the time, the "Fr. Ed" left all financial decisions to a salaried financial manager, a friend of the pastor. Having dealt with this manager on many occasions in chairing my parish program, and witnessing some lack of financial savvy, I did not have the necessary confidence that any monies resulting from this process would be effectively managed, nor was I comfortable with the process itself.
After the second meeting, I declined to participate further. I was not the only person who felt this way, and soon the sessions faded away,with no public mention that they were ever held.
A few months after that, I received a letter in the mail. A personalized form letter on parish letterhead that was "signed" (stamped, copied) by the pastor, which listed my current weekly donations to the parish and asked that I increase these donations by a certain percentage.
I set the letter aside, having heard nothing about this in the bulletin.
In two weeks I received another letter, similar in content, but stating that this was the second letter, and they were still waiting for my response to increase my donation.
I again put the letter aside, still hearing nothing "official" about this mailing program,only comments from other members of the parish who received the letters.
After another two weeks, I received the third letter of the series, which lamented my lack of response, and hoped that I would still consider increasing my donation.
Here's the thing: First, I was already donating regularly, even though I was not confident that the funds of the parish were being properly handled.
Had I been confident that the funds were going to be managed well, I might have increased it.
Second, An outside fundraising company was hired by the parish to send out these form letters, even though they looked as if they had come directly from the parish. With the business expertise and contacts available within the parish, I saw no need to outsource and pay for this series of letters.
Again there was never any mention of this in the bulletin, etc.
Sorry this got a little lengthy, but I wanted to share the experiences that "suggested" this to me.
Since my comment has been addressed in the Transpirings newsletter, that Charting Our Future is NOT (capital letters used in newsletter as emphasis)the beginning of a capital funding campaign. .. it must be for programs, yes? A starting point. .
But my experiences tell me to wait and see what comes next.
Glad to hear from you balconyview !
It's been a while....?????
How is your parish? Better?
Nice to be missed. Been reading but not posting.
Re: parish now, I'd say, yes, most things are better. My main problem with the aforementioned letters was the lack of personal involvement: felt like I was getting reminder notices about a magazine subscription that was lapsing. I was not alone in that view, nor in my view that it was illtimed for the parish.
The events described in my last comment occurred during the final year of that pastor's 15 year assignment. Shortly after that, he retired due to health reasons, and a new pastor was assigned.
The new pastor assured us that he was going to take the time to get to know our parish community before beginning any changes, and if something wasn't broken, it didn't need to be fixed.
After his first six months, he cut expenses across the board, including eliminating the financial manager position and other rectory staff positions he deemed unnecessary. He actively sought volunteers to take charge of grounds maintenance, repainting, and concrete step work. We do still have some salaried staff positions.
The new pastor is a very learned man in theology, scripture and church history, yet in a very down to earth manner. Also well versed in financial matters, but a very frugal, practical man, willing to nurse along a failing air conditioning system until the funds are available to install new.
He is very visible in the community, from greeting parishioners at the annual rummage sale to being present at every fish fry, festival night, and other parish activity.
He's very pro parish school, and can often be seen on the playground tossing the football with the kids at recess, or in the cafeteria having lunch with a class. Cafeteria food, yum!
In the last couple years, as confidence in management increased, the funding has also increased from Parish events as well as weekly donations. Debts have been decreased, yet I can't remember a single "we need money" sermon or mention in the bulletin, other than quarterly financial status reports.
I do however, remember many mentions of gratitude for the volunteer work of parishioners in their various ministries.
I'm sure not everyone is happy with everything in the parish, and there are still problems that need to be addressed. Perfection is a futile goal, but yes, things are better. Thanks for asking.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts par4, Dan and balconyview! There were many people that told me that they would have liked to have written about their "shocks", but were reluctant to because they felt it would "just make the staff mad, and it wouldn't do any good anyway". I understood. I have a list of my own shocks, and agree that to write them all down would only anger those who already think that all I do is condemn. I don't get pleasure out of relaying the "Not so Good News", but its all part of our journey, isn't it?
The 'shocks' that I have experienced in the last few years differed in length and severity. Let me preface my listing of some of those shocks with the fact that I can see that 'the door' is open. I have been lucky enough to minister as before, just differently. Listing some of my 'shocks', may help others to move on as well?
A couple who were Euch. ministers together for many years were late for the instructional meeting at church. They were told after the meeting that since they had been late they would no longer be able to give communion at mass. Some time later, the husband was quickly given instruction by the priest before a mass where a distributer was needed. His wife was present but not asked to join in the instruction. At a later mass, where people were being signed up to distribute, the other staff member quickly reminded the man's partner that she would not be able to distribute communion. To this day she has not been recommissioned. This bothered me because I couldn't understand why there was a problem in the first place. A few minutes of attention could have resolved the problem. I think the people involved assume that the staff had a problem with his wife. And, at the time, I was inclined to agree. I hope that bringing this to light may bring a positive resolution to the problem.
Back again.......someone asked me what happened to the list of things that I was going to write about--the disappointments, 'shocks' that made me sit still for a while? I did write some down, but then decided that I would rather put them in my personal "ethereal" blog. To get to it easier,click on my name Karen in blue and it should take you to my profile, then click ethereal. See you there.
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